It’s been a while…

It’s been a while since I’ve written. I could blame it solely on a crazy pregnancy but that wasn’t it. There are plenty of reasons but I haven’t had much to say. In complete transparency, I haven’t written because my last post was “It is well with my soul” and to be honest… it has not always been well with my soul since that post. I’ve really had to practice what I’ve preached this year and I haven’t always been successful with that… probably more unsuccessful. We’ve been in the fire for what has felt like all of 2021… a difficult pregnancy, unexpected job changes, the loss of dear friends, more transition than I would have preferred, and the death of my mother in law just days before the birth of our tiniest warrior princess.

During the last conversation I had with my mother in law she thanked me for writing and sharing and said she had missed getting to read my posts. I honestly never knew she read them. She encouraged me to write again and share from my heart.

So here I am… a little unsure of what to say but feeling like I’m supposed to be here even if it’s just to say to someone else who feel like they are living in the fire… “keep fighting… keep moving forward”. Even when you are exhausted, even when His voice is faint, even when it feels like you are going in circles, even when self doubt creeps in, even when you feel like you are swimming upstream, even when you feel alone but most of all even when you don’t want to.

The good news is… I’m still standing! I’m still in the fire but I’m still being refined. I’m so grateful that in my weakness He is made strong! I’m grateful that he is faithful even when I don’t deserve it. I’m grateful He’s faithful even when I haven’t given Him credit for being faithful. I’m grateful that when I faced some of my biggest fears He was gentle with me. Letting me see that even in my own fear and doubt He is still the same. He is still good!

To my mother in law, Candy: this one is for you! Thank you for cheering me on and reminding me that there was a reason I started writing. You were the ultimate mom cheerleader and I hope I can be the same for my girls! 💗